a letter to elise

I've just come home from the cinemas. I was there with some friends from college to see Jack the Giant Slayer, which is the first film I've seen at the cinemas in months that wasn't Les Misérables - I've seen that seven times now. It was better than I thought it'd be!
The last few weeks have been fun. My Bloody Valentine, Johnny Marr and Swans have all been excellent, my birthday was good and yesterday I went out to Frankie and Benny's with some Irish relatives on my late dad's side of the family. I also discovered that my 11-year-old cousin Aoife has Instagram which she uses to follow members of One Direction and post photos of her feet! My favourite part about going to Ireland is seeing Gareth and Aoife. I've never usually considered myself to be good with kids, but I suppose that's only the case with older ones as opposed to babies and toddlers. Crying children on public transport still make me want to commit mass homicide followed by suicide, however.

When I went to see Swans I wasn't expecting too much. I stood through Jamie Stewart of Xiu Xiu's particularly baffling acoustic solo set, and then when Swans came on I was blown away. I still had the ringing in my ears for about a day afterwards and everything sounded like I was underwater! Afterwards I met Thor Harris and Michael Gira (I know, I can't believe it either!!!) who are both sweethearts, truly. I bought a tshirt and a copy of My Father Will Guide Me Up A Rope To The Sky on vinyl, the latter of which I managed to get signed by Gira after the show. This year is looking very good so far. In fact, I finally received my bursary yesterday and my mum and I are going to see the David Bowie exhibition at the Victoria and Albert museum in July!

When I took off my coat and unbuttoned my jacket at the cinema today, my friends Shannon and Alex asked me how I stay so thin, which really makes me think about how others perceive us compared to how we perceive ourselves. It's true I'm quite slim - and I suppose I'm lucky - but I've never really considered myself to be thin. I don't think I have a perfectly flat stomach and my thighs aren't exactly slim either, despite what my skinny jeans might tell you. Today I'm wearing a top I bought yesterday, as seen in this picture, and I don't know what anyone else can see but I see a pudgy tummy.


I still really love this top though.

Despite all the good things that are happening, everything is still just a teensy bit tiring and confusing. I wish that I could sleep for as long as I want without feeling tired. I also wish my cats would stop fighting right now.